Saturday, December 22, 2012

I'm still alive...

Title because I survived the Mayan Apocalypse AND because I haven't written in an eternity...

Last time I wrote, I said that I didn't see the point in reading the Bible. And that apathy has carried over to most forms of the written word lately. I haven't journaled much, haven't blogged, haven't been reading books, haven't read the things my friends have sent me, haven't read my e-mails, haven't written my stories, nothing.

Hi, my name is Victoria and I fail as an English major.

Good thing I already have my degree, huh?
(See? Screenshot of my degree from a Skype chat with my family)

But now... you get a post written this morning! Enjoy!

I’m laying in bed in Paris. It’s about 11AM and I have about five hours before I plan to head to the city. I would go in sooner, explore, go on a tour, but it’s raining out and I don’t have an umbrella. And my shoes aren’t waterproof. So I’ll go in to Skype my family from Pret (first I’m calling Mom and then at 8:30 I’m calling in to my family’s Christmas party). Tomorrow I’ll be baking up a storm so I doubt I’ll be able to go explore. I’m making chocolate chip cookies and buckeyes for gifts and then cheesecake for Christmas. It should be cherry cheesecake but I couldn’t find cherry pie topping. I do think I have to get more cream cheese than I bought yesterday. I can’t make just one cheesecake stretch to 14 people.

We got here yesterday and were at the house by noon. Normally I’m not afraid of flying and I did not believe that the world was going to end yesterday. But somehow, some bit of something got in my head and I was honestly afraid about our flight. I just didn’t know what might happen. But of course I didn’t want to scare the girls. So when Kathrin and the girls went to the bathroom and I stayed with the stuff, I took a minute to pray and to start reading Matthew 6 (Who of you by worrying can add another second to your day?).

I’m not afraid of dying in general. I believe that since I have accepted Christ into my heart, when I die I will go to be with Him. If the idea of a third-line Christian is what makes someone “qualified”, then maybe I’m not but I am trying to get there. I am seeking. Last night, I told G-d “I want to want only You”. I believe that if something had happened yesterday, I would have gone to heaven. So my fear wasn’t “What will happen to me after I die?” It was more of a sorrow that I’d never see my family again, that they’d have to deal with the pain of losing someone, and the fear of the process of dying (Would I hurt? Would it be quick? If our plane crashed, those last few moments, how would I react? How would I process my own mortality and comfort the girls?). G-d did give me peace as we waited for the plane. I prayed if it was my time, it would be fast and painless but that He would please protect us. Being reassured of my salvation by the peace that overcame me, I was able to enjoy the flight. I sat next to Yael and across the aisle from Noemi while Kathrin and Nuria sat behind us. The girls had workbooks that Kathrin bought which they did and I mostly just concerned myself with them instead of my typical plane activities (reading, music, knitting).

Speaking of knitting, getting through security was SUCH a pain in the ASS this time. I’ve never been hassled more. I know why all the rules are there and I’m glad that they keep everyone safe but man are they inconvenient. My pants went off so I got wand-ed. My bra has metal on it of course so that beeped and I got felt up by the woman working. Then I had forgotten my cell phone and that had to get run through. Then my legs got all felt up and they made me take my boots off to scan them. When my bag came through, the guy started searching through it. I know they’re allowed to but that’s never happened to me. He had his hands on probably everything in there. Took my Kindle out, ran it through separately and ran my bag through again. Then he started rummaging again. He pulled out my (empty) knitting needles and told me I really shouldn’t have them with me but he was nice and he did let me keep them instead of confiscating them.
Which means the knitting project I cast on yesterday needs to be finished by the 26th so I can put my needles into Kathrin’s checked bag. It is going quickly though so I do think that will be possible. I have 30 rows left to knit and I did 22 yesterday. So this one will be done today and the other one could possibly be finished between Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. My only problem is a small ladder forming on either side. It’s small though so I don’t think it’ll be noticed. I’ve never had this problem before though so I’m not sure why I am not.

Well I do think it’s time for me to get up and brush my teeth (it is almost noon now). See you later, folks.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Relationship Quote

It seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is… suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
 -The X-Files

I came across this quote the other day and feel the need to save it. I'm choosing also to share it with you today. Enjoy.