Thursday, May 24, 2012

The Chaos of Pre-Travel

I started packing tonight. It's going to be an adventure getting everything packed, that's for sure. I have most of my clothes-everything that's not dirty/being washed-packed. I have a few things that are set aside to be sent to me later (my winter jacket, boots, etc.) and I have a list of things that are packed, things that are going in my backpack, things that I need to buy there, things I need to do here before I can go, and so on and so forth. Grad gifts are done for 6 housemates, 1 roommate, 1 Londonerd, and nearly done for a former ICE major friend as well as an underclassman friend. I still have to start gifts for two other friends (one of whom the pattern isn't even completed for).
People keep asking me if I'm excited, if it's starting to hit. Despite the fact that I fly in 4.5 days, it hasn't hit yet. My brain's current focuses: my hormones, my party on Saturday, packing, 23 straight hours of travel minimum between Rochester and Osnabrueck, and then the fact that I'm moving to Europe for a year. In decreasing order (although in another 24 hours hormones will be off that list). I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'm going to be in another continent for a year and that I'll be responsible for 3 little girls. Who are adorable, by the way. Right now, my main focus is on the party. I get to see several of my closest friends as well as a bunch of family. To be able to chat with Jess, joke with Dan, hug Eric, and spend time with Emy and Jens? That's going to be amazing. I wish I could see some of my other friends too but a girl has to learn to be content with what she can get sometimes.
The living room is currently covered in my crap. And don't even MENTION my bedroom floor. Things are scattered all over. I have to determine my travel entertainment still. I think I'm going to have to suck it up and buy a movie or two and a few books for my iPod. It's necessary I think for my sanity during my 24 hour traveling. I can only cross stitch for so many hours... And fruit ninja doesn't exactly entertain me for long stretches of time. >_< Suggestions? (If anyone's actually reading this ahead of my travel date. :P)
Alright, Fraulein Vickey needs to clear the living room floor and get to bed. Tomorrow's a day full of packing and spending time with little kids.

Monday, May 14, 2012


This weekend was one of the toughest of my adult life. I said good-bye to some of my closest friends ever and left the place that became home to me over four years. I graduated from Houghton College with my bachelor of the arts. The ceremony felt so surreal. It didn't hit me until I was at the end of the row and Dr. Wardwell took the podium to read the names of the English and Writing majors. Then I realized I was about to graduate from college. And he read my name and I walked across that stage and shook hands of people I've never spoken to. Then it was back to sit down and wait until the others graduated. I couldn't believe it had happened. It both seemed to happen so fast and to go so slowly.
Yesterday it seems Dad dropped me off for the first time. I sat in the chapel listening to President Mullen speak, saying how we would find a community at this place. As much as that word became a joke among my classmates and I over time, it is true. Houghton is a community. People really support each other and care for each other there. I've had friends learn my habits and learn that when I'm stressed, I don't eat. I need to be reminded. They know the clues that mean I'm suffering from my anxiety. And they know how to help me through it. I've become an open book to a handful of people. They don't even need to see me to know that I'm upset, that I'm f.i.n.e.
You know, they say that it's college where you make your life long friends. Well I truly believe that's true for me. I met my best friend on the first day of college and I had the honor to live with her for 5 semesters. She's been there for everything. Through wedding planning and broken hearts, through laughter and tears, through moments of weakness when I needed to be smacked upside the head and moments of stubbornness where she's learned I wouldn't listen no matter what. Mary Beth and I got so lucky. We were matched up randomly freshman year to live together and I found my future maid of honor, my best friend, my role model, and my future children's favorite aunt. I'm not going to go through each friend that I made but somehow I found exactly who I needed in college. The friends to help me through the classes I hated, the broken hearts, the obsessing about a wedding that won't ever happen. To learn to deal with my anxiety with me and understand when I ask seemingly pointless questions about social gatherings because without those answers, I can't feel safe coming. I've even had one friend in particular literally come and sweep me off my feet and carry me across the mini-quad so I would come hang out. And that is amazing. How I got so lucky, I don't know that I'll ever know.
I had professors who are such inspirations. I've been inspired by them academically and spiritually. I have a list of books that've been recommended to me by people I respect and I've read several that have changed who I am and how I think of the world. I've made memories laughing in class and staying up late reading. I've written papers I was proud of and papers that I knew sucked. I've been proud of grades and I've been disappointed in them. I've met people that have redefined my idea of how to be a good person, a good Christian, a good academic. Some classes I was required to take while others I nearly demanded to take, for either subject area or professor. There are professors I wasn't upset to end my class with them with and professors who I hope to continue to keep in touch with.
This weekend, I said goodbye to the place that has become home. I parted ways with the girls that I had the pleasure to live with this year. I shed plenty of tears and I've shed more today as well. I will see these people again, I know I will. But for now? This was a parting. And it sucked. It's that simple right now. As the day went on, goodbyes got harder. The last few, my housemates, Desiree, EEK, Jess, and Eric. Those were the most difficult. The ones that led to the most tears. Some of which are still leading to tears as the reality of our parting for now becomes more and more real.
My next 16 days, well just less than, are going to be incredibly chaotic. I can only hope that everything will get done without being completely burnt out. I have to sort my room, pack up, and that's enough in itself but I also have to say goodbyes to family, friends, have a party, and deal with things like getting a background check and haircut. Well, now I need to sleep because I need to be ready to go in eight and a half hours.