Romans 9 Questioning

This morning, I sent the following e-mail to my roommate.

It's nearly 11:30 in the morning and since Nuria is completely asleep I turned to Romans to do some reading on my iPod. I'm up to chapter 9. I read some of the verses in probably three different translations and I'm still having a hard time. So my dear Bible minor, can you help me? The verses about Jacob and Esau just seem to make G-d sound like... Well like He's up there arbitrarily deciding that He's going to bless and love this son but not the other. How can G-d chose to hate Esau anyhow when "for G-d so loved the world"? I know that it's only because of His mercy and grace that we can be saved but I just don't get this... Something about it is do confusing and so sad to me. Do you have anything that can help unconfuse me?

It's now 9:20pm and I'm no closer to an answer. And given just how long of a day it was, I'm not sure I can handle spending longer thinking about this. So I don't know how to deal with these verses. I don't know how to reconcile the G-d of these verses with the G-d I'm familiar with. I do know that regardless of what these verses say that 

• G-d is merciful.
• But G-d demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8
• G-d is loving.
• For G-d so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him would not perish but would have everlasting life. John 3:16

There are many other things that G-d is but those are the two that I can see these verses bringing up doubts about. I don't doubt my L-rd. I only cannot understand what these verses say.