Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Excuses, excuses...

Hello, folks...

Long time no see, eh? For a bit, I was using my journal a lot more and didn't feel the need to use this. Then for a bit I've been avoiding writing. First because I didn't want to confront leaving Europe, leaving my girls, moving on and then because well I'm avoiding delving into my psyche. I'm sure there's a lot going on in there regarding leaving and coming back and no longer being an ex-pat and trying to figure out where I fit in. It's easier to leave the door closed. There's stuff in there too about how I feel about my Poppy (my almost 95 year old great-grandfather) moving to a nursing home and how I feel about my kitty being 15 years old (which is one year shy of when we lost my oldest cat, my Smokey).

There's irritation at not being able to get around on my own thanks to the lack of public transportation and there's distance between myself and G-d that I don't want to confront.

Honestly, that's the biggest one. When there's distance between G-d and me, I don't blog. I don't journal. Doing that makes me confront the distance and the sin and the issues I've let crop up. I've read my Bible the last two days (after skipping nearly a month) and I'm feeling convicted but I haven't prayed. And that is what's going to get me back in touch with Him. So I need to do that and I know it but I know that will take time and emotional energy and it is just so much easier to watch TV than to drain myself like that. Today though I'm going to the gym (actually I'm leaving in about fifteen minutes) and hopefully I can use some of that time during my run to get in touch with G-d. I guess we'll see though.

I leave Sunday for camp and will have limited internet access so I'm not sure how much you should expect from me until August.


Post a Comment