Rambling Late Night Post

It's official. I have my first cold in Europe. Between the sniffles and the fever as well as the exhaustion, I'm ready for bed. Naturally my head feels like it's full of fuzz too. I'm babysitting tonight so that Kathrin can attend something at the theater. The girls had a cream of wheat type thing for dinner and I haven't eaten yet. (My focus was on getting the girls to sleep first plus I had a banana late afternoon.) Then Yael and Noemi watched an episode of Strawberry Shortcake (which is Emily Erdbeer here). We did the teeth brushing, pajamas thing and then I started searching for Fiddler On the Roof so Noemi could listen to it while she fell asleep. We took a break to read a story but Nuria cried throughout it when I wouldn't let her stand on the rocking horse. (The book Yael chose was Der Gruffelo.) Yael claimed she wasn't ready for bed yet but she was the first one asleep. Then Nuria screamed some more before finally getting comfortable on my chest (probably around the time my fever went down so she wasn't so hot) and falling asleep too. Noemi however is still awake. She's gone to the bathroom three times in the last ten minutes and is doing something with paper right now? For some reason though she's the oldest she has the most difficulty when her parents leave. She cries for Mama and asks how long until Mama comes back. Now she's listening to Fiddler in bed while I'm writing this and the little two sleep.

In a week, we leave for Paris. On the one hand, I can't wait to go there, see the Eiffel Tower, etc. But on the other hand, it's 4 weeks in a country where I don't speak the language getting used to another new culture and another new way of life as well as new people. We're staying with Daniel's parents and the internet isn't great there so that's going to cramp my communications with people back home. Not speaking more French than "Hello. My name is Victoria. Do you speak English? Do you speak German?" is going to be an experience. I'm not sure how my anxiety will do in that situation but I know that Kathrin and Daniel will help me out since, as I've said before, they're super helpful and awesome. (Okay, eating Oatmeal with the baby on my chest isn't exactly easy... I'm so afraid I'm going to spill on her head! I'm sure getting it out of her fine, curly hair would be a nightmare.)

Just got off the phone with Eric after a few minutes. It's been a while. My head is fuzzy but everything else is okay. I can breathe through my nose, I don't have a fever anymore, etc. I'm intentionally breathing in rhythm, deeply, so Nuria will stay asleep. Somehow she slept through a five minute conversation. I was trying to be quiet but still impressive, huh? My throat's killing me and I can't hardly talk let alone sing-which the baby wants. I'm hoping to eat ice cream all morning tomorrow to soothe it.

The baby's now starting to stir for no reason so I've changed my chair for the exercise ball and I'm bouncing. It makes it a little difficult to read or to type this but at least she's sleeping. I'm also planning to grow my hair back out. I want long beautiful hair. Not sure yet what color I'll dye it next but I ought to both decide that soon and to figure out how to dye it myself.

Oh, I know I'm completely rambling but blame illness okay? Put up with me for a bit. I cannot wait to have a child of my own to rock to sleep. Some day the baby sleeping on my chest will be my son or my daughter and by this point I'll have laid him or her down to sleep so that Mommy can have just a few minutes alone before she goes to bed. I don't mind that Nuria is still on me or that she's going to be until Kathrin gets home. That's not the point. I've had all afternoon to myself and spent all morning with adults. The point is that if she was mine, my day would have gone very differently. The morning would have been spent with my family, my kids, my husband. The afternoon maybe I would have taken the baby out while I went grocery shopping (assuming we were somewhere that stores are actually open on Sundays). But my day would have been spent with family rather than alone. It would have been a day ON instead of a day to recharge in this particular way.

Alright now my back is hurting from bouncing but the baby's sleeping so whatever. My butt is going to transfer to the sofa and relax watching Grey's til Kathrin gets home. G'night people. :)