Thursday, November 1, 2012

My Husband

I started writing the other night to my husband. Yes you read that right. I started writing letters to my husband and I'm praying for him. I didn't run off and get married. I don't even have a boyfriend yet. But I spend enough time thinking about my future, about my life ten years from now. Why shouldn't I put that down on paper?

The danger I have in this is getting too wrapped up, too focused on the future. I tried to write to my husband in the past but it was always focused on telling him about who I am now and about predicting who he might be. Because I know that I'd love to read a letter my 15 year old husband wrote guessing that I was that girl in his home ec class. (Sarcasm again.) I have no idea who I'll marry. I don't know what country he's even from (the joys of dating in Europe).

It's also incredibly difficult to pray for someone you may not have met yet. I find myself praying, "Dear G-d, if my husband doesn't know You yet, led him to You. Make him a godly man. Give him the guidance to follow You and prepare him to led our family." I think a good chunk of why I pray first and foremost for him to come to G-d and grow in Him is because I realize that by being engaged to a non-Christian in the past I seriously stepped out of the path Christ has for me. I serve a miraculous King though who has/is/will be using my crooked path to point others towards Him. I don't want to make that mistake again though. One shattered heart was enough. If it's in line with His Will, I never want to go through that again. I pray my husband might become a godly man, a man like David (without the adultery/murder) because that's what I pray for myself. I want to yearn for Him. I want to be content to curl up in His arms until the day He hands me over to my husband. And even then I know G-d won't be done with me. I'll still be striving for Him, just with my husband as well alongside me.

The things I pray for my husband are based on both my past mistakes and my current longings. I can't pray over specific problems yet. I can't ask G-d give him wisdom to know how to handle a difficult situation because I don't know what situation he's in. I don't know if he's in a grad program or working. I don't know if he's even single right now or working on his "next northern star" as I like to put it. And that is a weird thought. My husband might be dating someone else right now. Wrap your head around that one why don't ya.


  1. i love this post! i think you're praying for your husband the "right" way. you're praying for God to mold him and grow him so that he's ready to be the man that you and your future family will need. i think it's always important and a good thing to be praying Christ grows and molds someone, regardless of who that person is to you!

    "And that is a weird thought. My husband might be dating someone else right now. Wrap your head around that one why don't ya." <-- this made me laugh out loud.

  2. I'm glad I could make you laugh. :) Thank you for stopping by, Annie.