My Husband

I started writing the other night to my husband. Yes you read that right. I started writing letters to my husband and I'm praying for him. I didn't run off and get married. I don't even have a boyfriend yet. But I spend enough time thinking about my future, about my life ten years from now. Why shouldn't I put that down on paper?

The danger I have in this is getting too wrapped up, too focused on the future. I tried to write to my husband in the past but it was always focused on telling him about who I am now and about predicting who he might be. Because I know that I'd love to read a letter my 15 year old husband wrote guessing that I was that girl in his home ec class. (Sarcasm again.) I have no idea who I'll marry. I don't know what country he's even from (the joys of dating in Europe).

It's also incredibly difficult to pray for someone you may not have met yet. I find myself praying, "Dear G-d, if my husband doesn't know You yet, led him to You. Make him a godly man. Give him the guidance to follow You and prepare him to led our family." I think a good chunk of why I pray first and foremost for him to come to G-d and grow in Him is because I realize that by being engaged to a non-Christian in the past I seriously stepped out of the path Christ has for me. I serve a miraculous King though who has/is/will be using my crooked path to point others towards Him. I don't want to make that mistake again though. One shattered heart was enough. If it's in line with His Will, I never want to go through that again. I pray my husband might become a godly man, a man like David (without the adultery/murder) because that's what I pray for myself. I want to yearn for Him. I want to be content to curl up in His arms until the day He hands me over to my husband. And even then I know G-d won't be done with me. I'll still be striving for Him, just with my husband as well alongside me.

The things I pray for my husband are based on both my past mistakes and my current longings. I can't pray over specific problems yet. I can't ask G-d give him wisdom to know how to handle a difficult situation because I don't know what situation he's in. I don't know if he's in a grad program or working. I don't know if he's even single right now or working on his "next northern star" as I like to put it. And that is a weird thought. My husband might be dating someone else right now. Wrap your head around that one why don't ya.