Sunday, October 28, 2012

Tattoos (and Dinner) with Jesus

31 Cups of Tea with Jesus. Every day I'm supposed to be meeting with Jesus. And at first I did. But then, my faithfulness is a threat to Satan and his evil plans for this world. And he gave me plans with friends which shoved out my plans with Jesus. So I haven't been as faithful to this concept or as faithful to Him. I've talked to Him on my way to my plans and I've chatted a bit but I haven't opened my Bible physically in weeks. I haven't opened my Bible app in a while either. I've let myself get distracted with concerns about the differences in German and American dating and this morning my worry was over the Halloween party. I've started working on Christmas presents but have I started thinking about Advent or His birth? Except for the chocolate Advent calendars and which one I plan to buy myself.

I've written the equivalent of every day this month so far. But not all of them are about Him and not all of them are on an individual day or with a purpose beyond "here is my life". I've wondered if I should have called this 31 Days as an Au Pair and been able to just write about my life and the girls, the challenges I face, the things that make it worth it. A lot of people wrote about Jesus in this link-up. Maybe if I had written about being an au pair I'd have gotten more readers. Because you know that's totally my end goal. :sarcasm: (We totally need a sarcasm font online. Someone get on that.)

I've spent a lot of days lately kind of in a fog. I think it's a good chunk related to my depression setting back in. I have a really hard time concentrating and getting my mind on G-d. But I know that as soon as I do turn to Him and don't try to do it just on my own that I'll feel so much better. Tonight, I hopped in the shower and started talking to Him, thanking Him for the chance to Skype with my dad. Then I started talking tattoos with Jesus. Yup. Go ahead and search that phrase. See how many results you get. (Answer: 21,300 results as of 8:13PM CET on 10/28/2012) And when I had my dinner, I invited Jesus to join me. I pulled up a chair for Him and I started talking, not to the ceiling but to the chair. Or rather to Him in the chair. And as foreign and strange as it felt, as much as I laughed at myself, I feel like this is a good habit to get into sometimes. I need to remember that G-d isn't this far off distant diety. He's not sitting up in the clouds watching me. He's right here. He wants to sit and talk with me. He wants me to invite Him to come with me throughout my days.

There's a group of women on facebook that I've connected with through my online church. I've slowly started to get to know them and I'm working on organizing an accountability group for praying and for Bible reading. I need to do more than take two seconds to thank Him when something goes right.

P.S. On an au pair note? Normally Noemi asks "What are you making?" because that's the direct translation of "Was machst du?" Today she asked, for the first time, "What are you doing?" I love those lightbulb moments where something clicks.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing, Roomie. I feel like we just had a heart to heart in our cozy
    abode at Perkins 42 --let's keep following, let's keep growing, let's fight against the trap that He's aloof (I know He was right there with you @ that table). And let's never get too old or too "wise" to come to Him like little children with childlike, wide-eyed, brave faith.